


On the Air

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Radio, F/M, Kid Dan, Kid Phil, M/M, More tags to be added, Phil is PJ's Brother, Previous Car Accident, Radio Host Chris
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-16 08:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4618260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris didn't realize there was something missing in his life. He had a job, an apartment, friends and everything he could wish for. Until one day, when he got a certain phone call, which changed his life.<br/>Pj had everything and lost all of it. If you ask him, calling a radio station was the dumbest idea ever. If you ask him, why he called again the next day... He will just smile.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chris was radio host since high school. Talking always was his greatest advantage and in the same time his worst curse. He had no limit. He could get himself into the worst trouble only by being witty and sarcastic. It was often his luck that saved him, or the fact that some idiots didn't understand the thing about irony.

On the other hand, he could talk all day and people would listen to him with mouths open and wild eyes. Chris often used it for his benefit and wouldn't think twice of it. Wasn't it how great leaders were born? With such charisma and charm. Ah, but also Stalin or Hitler. Fortunately Chris was too lazy to be either of them.

So he became radio host.

He loved talking to microphone. That way he didn't have to deal with reactions to what he was saying. Well, mostly... Chris still remembered each of angry phone calls he had to deal with. He laughed every time.

His radio wasn't big and fancy, although it was pleasant to work in. Chris was main star there. Shifts weren't really regular and payment could have been better, but he had the money for meals and rent, so he was happy with his current situation.

During summer vacation, his shifts changed to the late ones, most likely after midnight or even later. You'd be surprised how many people listens to the radio at that time. They are travelling, sleepless or just in general bored. Chris didn't mind being in work at night. It was practically his second home. When he didn't feel like heading back to his apartment, couch at the back was more than comfortable for couple hours of rest. Chris was a morning person, but he didn't need much sleep to function like a normal human being. Just huge amount of coffee.

He worked with many people on different shifts, but most likely hang out with Emma and her boyfriend Luke. Blackery was gorgeous, had more colour on her hair than he could've count and was also really cynical, which connected them in a perfect form of friendship. When it came to Luke – Chris wasn't convinced if he really wanted to hang out with the guy. But Emma was positively sure that they will become friends in time. And they did.

Emma won't take no for an answer, after all.

“Night shift again?” She said, dressing in her new, yellow coat.

“And tomorrow, also night after that. I'm not that bothered though. It's quieter here, no rush and all that.”

“Since when you mind it? You're the loudest person I know!”

“Ah, but it means that I need silence more than anybody you ever knew.”

The truth was, he absolutely hated silence. Despite it. But their radio was calmer at night and he didn't mind that. It seemed so domestic and yet a little bit mysterious with empty hallways and dark rooms.

Blackery wasn't convince, so she just rolled her eyes. She took her phone and checked it for text messages. Second after that she smiled wildly and answered whatever she read on the screen. Chris sighed. He didn't like this kind of influence. Influence of love. And he wasn't jealous, really. It was just that love always complicated things and he'd bet that Emma will set whole radio station on fire after breaking up with Luke, which will probably happen sooner or later. All relationships end the same way, no matter what the intentions are.

“Is this the _Ask Crabstickz_ day?”

Emma was smiling at him and it was devilish. She always made fun of it. Every time. And the thing was that Chris also wanted to stop it and laugh about it, but it was a lot simpler to talk to his listeners, when they asked for advices or wanted him to explain something. He did it, of course, a bit humorously, but from time to time his answers were honest and serious.

Rarely, but it happened.

The funny part started when people wanted to know _relationship_ advices and Chris sucked at it. Everybody knew that when it came to serious business in love area, Kendall was the last person to ask. But listeners liked his answers, so he kept talking bullshit, hating every word of it.

But it was hilarious, he had to give that to Emma.

“Are you subtly asking me for advice? Because, you know, I can help you out, if you have some problems with Luke. We are friends, so you even won't have to pay me that much...”

They both laughed.

“Luke and I are perfectly fine.”

“Is that so?”

“You just want to hear about our sex life, huh?”

“You've got me here. All my plan wasted!”

“See you tomorrow, you dork.”

Emma disappeared behind the doors and Chris just smiled. They always had these short breaks before his shift and after hers. Playlist on the air had to be long enough for them to make fun of each other and for Chris to do himself big cup of coffee.

He sat in front of microphone and put headphones on.

Three, two, one...

“Hello, listeners.”

His voice was low, not very loud either. Sometimes he was almost whispering to the microphone, especially during night shifts. He didn't want to ruin the calm atmosphere, but making all the drivers sleepy wasn't a good idea, so some classic rock was a wonderful start.

“How are you tonight? This is crabstickz again, wasting another couple of hours of your precious time. Also quick reminder – you can call me whenever you want, but today is special, you get to ask me questions. What a surprise, since I basically do it every week, huh? So if you're in need of advice... Here I am. Waiting for you.”

His fingers were touching all the buttons on the console, his little kingdom. He was able to do anything and everything. Instead he picked title of song that suited his mood best.

“But before that, get ready. Pack your things, I'm going to take you on a little trip to hell.”

 _Highway to Hell_ started playing, when he took off his headphone. He thought that it was a good day. Sipping his coffee, he stared at the window to the other room. Such peaceful it was, when nobody happened to be around. Chris wasn't sure if he loved it, or hated it. But it was a good day. He just didn't want to wonder if it will stay this way.

***

First phone call always was something exciting, no matter how many years Chris was working as a host in the radio. It was the same kind of thing as talking to the stranger on the street for the first time. Later it was less impressing, but it this very moment... Kendall felt amazing.

“Great Britain is listening.” He said, answering.

Of course Chris didn't want to scared the listener, but he had a habit of making things big. Who knew how many people were on the other side of the radio? Well, actually he knew very well, since it was his job, but the other didn't have to.

“Hello.” Whispered shy voice.

“How are you, stranger?”

“I'm okay, I guess.”

So he did make the boy scared after all. Alright, it was his fault. But it was his job to make it better, wasn't it?

“What's your name, buddy?”

He was always good with kids and the boy must have been no older than in his teenage years, maybe even not yet. It wasn't forbidden for kids to call, or at least Chris didn't know about it. Although he actually didn't read nor listen to the rules that had this place.

Ah, but who would even notice... It's not like anybody knew the rules.

“Phil Lester.”

“Not the surname. You know, the protection of personal data and all that.”

At least this one Chris actually remembered, or was it just reasonableness? Well, if Chris had any, that is.

“Oh.” Silence on the phone was awful. Chris nearly felt worried and opened his mouth to ask, if Phil was alright, but the boy spoke again, being as shy as from the beginning of their conversation. “Just Phil then.”

“Well... Nice to meet you, Just Phil. Tell me, what piece of advice do you need from crabstickz?”

Phil didn't answer again.

“My boss can fire my for not talking for longer amount of time, pal. So tell me, what happened?”

“It's my brother.” Phil said, finally.

“What about your brother?”

“He seems really sad and he doesn't want to tell me why. He is the only family I have, so I'm worried. I also use telephone on forbidden hour, but I want to make him better. Is there something I can do?”

Chris narrowed his eyebrow. He wasn't expecting _that_.

Suddenly love questions felt like a piece of cake.

There were some important matters and some that shouldn't be publicly known for any stranger, but in Chris's case they were both inappropriate and necessary. For example, why your brother is the only family you have? It was extremely bad thing to ask, so Chris bit his tongue and thought about it for a second.

_How can I make his brother better?_

_Probably by using power of magic fairies. For fuck's sake, he isn't even the one, who called me._

Also, _how can I make his brother better and entertain people at the same time?_

This seemed like a challenge. Chris liked challenges.

“Do you suspect what was the cause of your brother feeling so bad, Phil?”

“I guess... Maybe he feels lonely? He cried a bit today, when he thought I wasn't looking.”

“Alright.”

“Alright?”

“Exactly. Only one more thing.”

“Yes?”

“What is your brother's name?”

“It's Pj.”

“Wonderful. Now listen carefully, Phil. I'm going to play a song, because that's what they pay me for. But don't worry. After the song ends, you hand the telephone to your brother. If he will be mad, then tell him it was my idea.”

“But...”

“I'm going to cheer him up, Phil. No worries. Surely you will listen to all of it in the radio, won't you?”

Chris sounded calm, but actually he was a little bit nervous, which didn't happen to him in a long time. What if angry brother will decide to sue him? Could he? But it was not that big of a deal. Phil himself wanted to call the station. If there's an issue, Chris needs to talk to this Pj and ask what's wrong. He didn't do this kind of things in a long time, but...

Wasn't it worth a try?

Chris hold his breath automatically.

“Yeah, I will.” Mumbled Phil on the other side of the radio.

 _Broken Crown_ by Mumford  & Sons started playing.

***

Voices in the phone were loud, angry even. Pj didn't shout. Seemed more tired. But his voice was a nice one, gorgeous even. Chris would like to see the man to get to know him better, before actually talking to him, but since that was not an option... Kendall's charm would have to be enough.

“You called the radio?”

“I did. You were sad!”

“So you made it publicly known to the whole country?”

“I...”

“Oh my God!”

Chris cleared his throat.

“Gentlemen.”

Silence. Well, great. Now he will lose his job.

“You are on the air right now. To be fair, people are really interested in the whole story.” He said as he read comments on the facebook fanpage that his radio had. Chris didn't expected that big fascination amongst people. Yet they always surprised him.

“They can be interested, but I'm not. I'm hanging up.”

_Perfect, just perfect._

Oh, but Chris had his ways to do these kind of things anyway.

“I would really advise you not to do so, Pj.”

“How do you know my name?” There was a pause and then somehow frustrated gasp. “Right, Phil and his big mouth.”

“You shouldn't be mad at your brother.”

“And why is that, hm?”

“Phil is worried about you.”

“Yeah, I get it. You are worried about me too, aren't you? And I'm going to win million pounds after you'll say something witty, but then you'll only take a small fortune by my mobile's bill?”

Chris laughed. He really, genuinely laughed.

“I wish that's how it works. I would be rich by now.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Can you quit being angry? I'm trying to help here. It's _Ask Crabstickz_ , the whole idea is to give advises.”

“Ask _what?!_ ”

Chris rolled his eyes.

“That's a start.”

***

Pj got calmer after couple of minutes of passive aggressive chatting. He turned out to be pretty polite and nice man. He even apologised, twice, and was probably going to keep doing it, even under some death threat.

Chris on the other hand started to like the guy. He was pretty sure he is wasting his time on the air by talking only to one person, but he didn't care. Listeners loved the story, enjoyed every minute of it. And Chris had to have something from life, something interesting at least.

“He heard you crying.” He informed Pj suddenly.

“I didn't...”

“Every hour of my life is an honest hour, don't bullshit me.”

“Can you even swear on the air?”

“Most likely.”

Chris didn't remember the last time he cried. Although maybe... When he was a child, there was this dog. He was called Lucky and it was the biggest cliché of Chris's life. Lucky wasn't so lucky after all. The car came out of nowhere and usual, sunny afternoon turned out to be a nightmare.

Chris cried all night. He couldn't breathe, speak.

He was just so terribly sad.

And it would be childish, but Lucky was actually the only part of the family that cared about him in a slightest. His parents didn't even notice that the dog was gone. Chris had to carry him to the vet himself, only to hear that Lucky's suffering was too much for him, and the animal had to be put down.

Remembering this made Chris's chest hurt.

But anything beyond that? He didn't remember crying at all. Probably because there was none. People sometimes called him heartless, but he had a heart, somewhere. He had the same emotions as everybody. He just chose not to use couple of them for his own, emotional safety.

“What happened, Pj?”

“Car accident.”

“When?”

“Year ago.”

“That's a long time.”

“Not long enough.”

Chris sighed.

“Are you lonely?”

“Aren't you supposed to advise me something?”

“I advise you to talk to me.”

“I don't feel like talking.”

“Will you feel like talking tomorrow?”

Chris waited for Pj to answer, counting seconds.

One, two, three, four...

“Maybe.”

“Then call me tomorrow, Peej.”

“I don't even know your name.”

“Oh, trust me. Phil has my number.”

Chris disconnected.

He knew that waiting will make Pj more desperate, but hanging up wasn't really pleasant. He wanted to know more about this Pj. What even was his name? Pj wasn't a name, just two letters. Chris somehow wanted to hear joy in his stranger's voice as he knew it belonged there, but was taken year ago.

But all that mattered now was the next song.

Was his day really that good? Sure. But how was the night?

That was entirely different thing.

_Sail_ by  _Awolnation_ started playing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys.  
> It is my second attempt to write a fanfic in English, which is not my native language (first was deleted). One of the reasons I actually started writing this fic was that the kickthestickz relationship is mainly tossed to the background.  
> The other reason is the amazing @kickthestickz_fics, who convinced me to start writing something.  
> So here you go :)  
> I hope it wasn't be so bad. Please leave a comment, I would love to know your opinion. :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go, chapter from Pj's point of view. Enjoy.  
> Write me what you think, your comments keep me really motivated.

“Come on! It surely wasn't that bad.”

Sophie was meant to be rereading script of their short film, but she wasn't paying any attention to the pages that were laying on her lap messily. At first she tried to smile, but then she only raised her eyebrows, expecting Pj to tell her all about how she was wrong, because it was of course the only thing he wanted to do in this very moment.

He still couldn't understand.

One minute he was sitting on his bed. He thought that it would be a good idea to sort some photos. The thing was that there was a lot of good memories he couldn't think about without remembering the bad ones. All the images of the accident appeared in his head in a second he saw his mother smiling or his father standing by the house proudly just after buying it.

Pj may have cried a little bit. He didn't notice at time, deep in thoughts.

The next minute he was handed a phone by Phil with concerned look.

“He is twelve, is he even allowed to call radio programmes by himself?”

“Oh, please! When I was twelve, my classmates started showing each other magazines with half-naked woman on the covers. You should be pleased that he is only calling some radio hosts.” Sophie said honestly.

Pj rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, perfect.”

“You're overreacting.”

“You didn't _hear_ it.”

Liguori sighed. He wondered why he didn't disconnected right after Phil handed him the phone. It was ridiculous to begin with. But somehow it was impossible for him to give up an occasion to actually talk to someone who would've listened to him.

Talking to Sophie was great. She was an amazing friend. But Pj already told her so much. She stayed with him, while his depression was the worst. In time sadness and regret filled him, every part of his body and soul, but he didn't want to talk about it anymore. Instead he locked it inside, hoping that sometime in future it will disappear.

“And this man... He didn't even told me his name. He went by his stage name, I guess, which is crabstickz.” Pj bit his lip, thinking. “He was somehow nonchalant, but at the same time he cared what I was saying. Like he tried to actually help me, although I was mean to him from the beginning of the conversation.”

“It's his job.”

“It was more than that.”

“Are you thinking about calling him again?”

“No.” He said too quickly.

Maybe this man would understand him, and it was a huge maybe, but it wasn't a reason to call him and practise storytelling by sharing his personal experience with God knows how many people listening. And of top of them this crabstickz. Who was he? Probably some guy hired to make fun of things on the air. He had to have music taste and good sense of humour, but what else?

Pj knew it was dump and yet he was searching for an excuse.

“Are your sure? Because you didn't seem too convinced.”

“I'm not going to...”

“Pj, look. I wouldn't think about doing something like this in million years. Phil did. Who knows what will come out of this situation? All I'm saying is give it a shot. If somehow it will help you, then good. Wonderful even.”

Liguori narrowed his eyebrows.

“And if someone will recognize me by my voice, standing face to face and ask me questions?”

“Then you will smile and tell them to fuck off.”

***

Pj walked home in the rain and it was so cliché that he had to force himself not to roll his eyes. His clothes and hair were wet, his phone wasn't waterproof either, but he chose not to think about it. Wind was making it nearly impossible for people with umbrellas to stay dry, although Pj wasn't really bothered by that since he didn't have any protection from rain, not even a hood. It was quite silly, actually. Walking around London with no umbrella was utterly stupid and Liguori knew it very well. He just forgot about it in the morning.

Damn.

Using metro or a bus wasn't his cup of tea. He preferred to walk if he had the opportunity, but he didn't actually know why he chose to do so that day, since he clearly had a bad mood. But he was lost in thoughts yet again, not really considering taking a bus, while walking was a habit, part of his routine.

His place of work changed all the time. It depended on whether he was shooting, getting some footage done, collecting equipment, or just looking though scenario and thinking what could be done to make it better.

Today was one of those lazy days, when he and Sophie were rereading, plotting and talking about character development or surprising plot twists. Only they actually neglected all of their work, because Pj needed to talk about the event that happened to him last night.

He still didn't know, what he was going to say to Phil. Whatever he have done, his brother still didn't deserve someone shouting at him. Phil meant well. Pj needed to make himself clear, what went wrong with his intentions. But it was not Phil's fault.

Having a baby brother had it's pros and cons. Pj wouldn't change it for the world. Phil was the most important person in his life, a person that he happened to be responsible for after some horrible events. Liguori promised himself that he will make his brother's life better, which wasn't a difficult task. After everything the boy went through, he should be offered more than Pj was capable of giving to him.

Their flat wasn't big. Back when they were a proper family, their house was huge. It was placed on countryside and the view was amazing. Many people would kill for a view like that, which isn't a great metaphor, but looking at the sea, while sun was disappearing in the depth of the ocean was worth it.

Motive of the sea appeared often in Pj's works. His teachers were pleased and concerned at the same time. Young Liguori was always the one that was different, original and creative. He believed in monsters – honestly believed that there were some creatures in this world that people shouldn't be capable of seeing and it was alright. They didn't need our confirmation to be real.

And he was in _high school_.

He always was a great artist and story teller. Sitting by the sea, he would draw for hours. The sound of waves hitting the sand was calming and yet by the night he would dream about drowning and wake up breathless.

But it was what he knew, what he was used to. And of course, being Pj, he got bored. He wanted to travel, to explore the world. Just after finishing school, he decided to take a random train and let the adventure begin.

He had a time of his life. Exploring Europe, Asia. All the places that he found beautiful and worth seeing. He even have been in America once, also got to visit Australia and eat their famous fairy bread. After two years of shameless exploring, he came back home. _Almost_. He went to college in London after loads of encouraging from his parents. He indeed wanted to be a director one day. More than anything he dreamed about making films. So he stayed, realizing that it's time to take his life a little bit more serious and continue education towards a larger goal.

But of course it wasn't enough. He learned that later.

_He used to be free._

_He used to have everything._

Every time he visited home, his mother kissed him on the forehead and his father patted him on the back, smiling. They were proud of him. His brother would show him new drawings (quite terrible, Pj was thinking fondly every time, but Phil definitely had his brother's imagination), mascots or what he learned in school.

They were actually happy. Pj didn't value this enough.

Now they had small apartment in London, conveniently near metro station, which Pj actually didn't use, but it was apparently a good thing, at least his estate agent told him that. It had two tiny rooms and a bathroom. Phil didn't complain, he wouldn't ever complain, seeing as much Pj was trying to make a decent life for both of them.

Besides Phil actually half of the time he wasn't asleep (also sometimes when he was, Pj had to apologize to Mrs Howell, but she wasn't mad) was spending at his friend's house. He lived couple streets away and Phil usually visited him after school or just in general when he was bored. They were getting along perfectly. Pj sometimes wanted to thank Dan for existing.

Phil was smiling, when he was with him. That was all Pj wanted to know.

This time Phil was sitting by his bed, playing some old video game. Pj came in with a small smile on his lips. Phil looked up almost immediately.

“You're home early.”

“Couldn't focus on work.”

“Is it because of me?”

“No. Of course not. Come here.”

Pj sat on the bed, right beside his brother. He hugged Phil tightly. After couple of seconds, he backed up, his facial expression really serious.

“I shouldn't shout at you yesterday.”

“Sorry for calling.”

“That's not the point, Phil. You shouldn't take care of me, it's not how it works. I'm your big brother. For God's sake, you're not even thirteen.”

Phil pouted.

“But crabstickz would help you.”

“Why are you so sure of that?”

“I just am.”

Pj nodded.

“I only want you to know... That next time you'll be worried, tell me. Not some strangers.”

“Okay.”

“Great.”

Liguori got up from the bed. Before he left the room, once again he looked at his brother with raised eyebrows.

“But you are banned from using your radio for a week.”

“Wha...”

“Sorry, not sorry!”

***

It was midnight and Pj's heartbeat was furious. He tried to calm himself down, but tea wasn't doing wonders and he ran out of other ideas. Phil _was supposed_ to be sleeping by now. Pj was hoping that it was actually what his brother was doing.

Crabstickz's radio programme started.

Pj held his breath.

“Hello, dear listeners. Did you miss me?”

Liguori felt chills down his spine. It was the same voice, nearly whispering to the microphone. He was humorous from the beginning, so nonchalant it hurt.

“Today was a great day. I woke up three hours after ending my last programme by my boss. How good morning is it, hm?” He laughed. “But he actually told me that we have some spare time on the air to fill, so you will probably be hearing me more often, because I don't have social life nor a girlfriend. But I'm not alone today! Emma is right here as my silent companion, since I'm not planning on sharing my microphone soon.”

“...you're such a dick.”

“Maybe she has her ways!”

Pj felt even worse, knowing that there might be one more person to laugh at how pathetic he was. She didn't seem nice. Didn't sound too polite either. Why was even Pj still listening?

“But I'm _better_.”

Oh. Right.

“Today I'm going to welcome you warmly with _Eye of a Tiger_ by _Survivor_.” There was a pause, while crabstickz was probably sharing a look with his friend, Emma. “You know, Blackery doesn't like my music taste, but it's her choice. I get that she may like more other kinds of music. For example rap. Remember the dating rap she did years ago? I heard that she is going to do it again!”

“Yeah, right after I will throw you out of the window, sure.”

“I'll have an eye on you.”

“Wait.”

“You can say...”

“Stop.”

“ _Eye of a Tiger_.”

Laud music started playing.

Pj found himself laughing at the terrible pun. Crabstickz was a funny man. Liguori almost forgot how stressed out he was. Listening to the radio was surely better than crying over some photos at night an trying to fall asleep (also failing miserable).

Maybe he should do it more often.

***

Pj pulled out his phone and stared at the screen.

Should he really do it?

He remembered what he heard couple of minutes ago, before another song appeared on the air. Crabstickz took the microphone from Emma, who did a monologue about treating animals in shelters.

“Woah, my programme never turns out to be so serious. Thanks, Emma. I bet I lost some listeners.”

Pj smiled lightly.

“Anyway, if we're already taking about serious things... Mysterious Pj? Are you there?”

Liguori was suddenly so surprised, he nearly choked.

“If you are, than feel free to call me. Remember, you promised.”

Technically he didn't _promised_. But it didn't mean that he didn't _want to_.

***

Pj heard Chris's voice after forth beep.

“Hello, stranger.”

Liguori knew it was a mistake, but he couldn't stop himself.

There was a lot of mistakes in his life. What would change one more?

“Hello.”


	3. Chapter 3

“There's no way I'm letting you stay here.”

“Come on!”

“Emma, for the last time...”

“You're talking like my father.”

“Maybe I am your father.”

“Noooo.”

Chris started laughing and Emma joined him a second after. Kendall usually didn't have anything against Emma's presents on the air with him, but this time he had a bad feeling about their collaboration. It's not that she wouldn't be serious enough. If anything, she would be more useful in giving advices than Chris. But somehow Chris thought it was just a bad idea.

Not because he wanted Peej to himself.

That would be ridiculous.

Emma coughed.

“Just don't tell me the 'it's nice to have some peace' bullshit.”

“It's not that.” Chris said with a slight frown. “Maybe Peej won't feel comfortable with another person here.”

“Aw. He has a name.”

Kendall rolled his eyes.

“Of course he has. People usually have names. Didn't you notice?”

“But it's different.”

“How so?” He asked sarcastically. Only couple of minutes left before his show. He didn't exactly have time for this.

“You never use any listener's name. I don't think you even remember them.”

“Well...”

“Ha! You like him.”

“The fact that I remembered his name doesn't prove anything.”

“Of course it does.”

Chris sighed painfully.

“I can't believe I'm friends with you. Come on, we will be late for the show.”

***

Tonight was warm and pleasant. Chris had really good time, while being on the air with Emma. They didn't do it for weeks. Listeners even started to wondering, if they stopped being friends or got into a fight, but it was none of the matters. Maybe Chris liked making the show on his own, because they provided entirely different content. But collabing with Blackery was something he would never get bored of.

Music was playing, while they were talking and then they were pretending to chatting normally on the air, although Chris had the feeling that Emma was more honest with their listeners than Chris himself. It wasn't that Kendall didn't like his viewers enough to share his true self nor that he wanted to keep some of his privacy.

There just was this crabstickz character, which complicated everything.

Sometimes Chris woke up with this weird feeling that he was about to change everything in his life. Sun was shining normally and yet more than always. But nothing was different that day. No matter how hard he tried, his actions weren't enough and crabstickz took the wheel.

Crabstickz was an unusual invention.

He – or it, Chris wasn't sure anymore – was somehow everything Chris ever wanted to be. Crabstickz was constantly happy, ready to entertain people. He didn't care about anything, sadness nor anger didn't applied to him.

And yet Chris despised him.

His character was meant to be more than him, everything that he failed to be over years. Added to it Chris's charisma, nobody should be able to refuse him anything. The fun part was – his plan worked out. Crabstickz could have any girl, boy. Everyone wanted to have crabstickz as their show runner. But it was too much and at the same time completely not enough.

Was Chris living a lie? Probably. After some time Chris wasn't even sure whether he lied or not in normal conversation. His friends got irritated with him, so he cut them off. He told himself every day that he was happy. He had a place to live with a beautiful view, job he liked. Emma and Luke as friends. He had all he wanted. People on the other side of the radio loved him. Sometimes he was meeting his own fans, which was more than he would ever desired.

He was happy.

“Chris?”

He was happy.

Nothing could change that.

“Chris? Hello?”

Even all the lies and crabstickz. His character should make his life even more wonderful. People would never know. Crabstickz won't be the end of his career nor his life.

“Chris, for pity's sake!”

Kendall blinked rapidly.

“What?”

Emma was staring at him with wide eyes. She was clearly frustrated, but Chris chose to ignore that, waiting for an actual answer. Emma raised her eyebrows with such ironic disbelief.

“You have a _phone call_.”

That was the exact moment Chris heard phone ringing.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. 'Oh'. That was exactly what I was expecting. Thank you, Chris, you truly are a professional.”

“Shut up.”

“Sure thing, just answer this damned phone!”

***

The conversation was awkward at first. Pj didn't want to talk about himself, staying far away from his personal details and Chris wasn't going to push it. Emma just listened, which Chris was really grateful for. Between deep breaths of Pj's, Chris could sense how nervous his listener was.

But that was Kendall's job to make things easier, wasn't it?

“So, how was your day, Peej?”

“My day?”

“Yeah, I guess you had one. You didn't wake up just five minutes ago, did you?”

“No... No, I didn't.”

Emma sighed heavily. Her expression said that she was growing impatient with this mysterious Pj, but Chris didn't say anything. It was normal to be shy in the radio for someone who didn't have anything to do with it on normal basis. Chris looked at Emma with silent 'give him time' and continued:

“So?”

“I met my friend.”

“That's good.”

“I was supposed to work.”

Chris laughed.

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I am supposed to work basically every night and what happens is I more or less ignore the whole 'responsibility' thing.”

“I've noticed.” Pj said and Chris was almost shocked, but in the entirely good way.

“Cheeky, aren't you, Pj?”

“Sorry.”

“Don't apologise. I like it.” Kendall smiled a little and put his fingers on the right buttons. “Stay on the line, Peej. We're going back right after _Take me to Church_ by _Hozier_.”

Chris took off his headphones, but didn't get to say anything before Emma hit him on the back of the head.

“Ow! What did I do _this time_?”

“Stop flirting!”

“I wasn't flirting!”

He blinked couple of times, thinking about it. Well, maybe he was nice and wanted to make Pj smile, but was he really flirting? He was just trying to be polite, who would blame him for that?

Right?

“Was I?”

Emma rolled her eyes.

“I'm honestly worried about both you and him right now.”

“Come on, it's not _that_ bad...”

“It's not bad at all. From my point of view it's even rather funny.”

Chris glared at her.

“Go home.”

“You wish.”

“I certainly do.” He sighed and started singing along the song, ignoring Emma.

***

“ _Take me to church_

_I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies_

_I'll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife_

_Offer me that deathless death_

_Good God, let me give you my life.”_

Chris hummed Hozier's hit even after the song has ended. He turned on the microphone, so his listeners were hearing every second of it, every word filled with intense emotions. People told him to make use of his voice. Chris never really wanted to be a professional musician. Being a radio host seemed much more of his style.

But then again, he loved singing. Doing it on the air or on the parties, when usual bands were having a break, was satisfying to him. He felt alive and on the other hand, he was completely cut off from the rest of the world.

“ _Let me give you my life...”_

“You have really beautiful voice.”

Emma choked, while Chris only stayed still with wide eyes and said nothing. This one time, Chris had no idea what to answer. Thank everything what's saint, Pj already started talking again.

“Wait, I mean...”

“Peej.”

“I'm sorry, I didn't want to say that out loud.”

“Really?”

“I mean, _fuck_.”

“I'm amazed by your choice of words.”

“Sorry.”

“Don't. Thank you. Maybe you'll sing with me one day, how does that sounds?”

“I'm not really a singing type.”

“You don't have to be any type to sing, Peej. You just have to do it.”

“Okay.”

“Huh?”

“I'll sing with you, one day.”

“I will certainly keep that in mind.”

***

Call ended after a while, but Emma wasn't there anymore. What was left of her was a small not for Chris to put his shit together and stop being inappropriate on the air, because when he will start having phone sex, Emma will not want to be there to hear it.

Chris just rolled his eyes and started singing along another song.

He didn't even notice how quickly his shift came to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the positive comments, you really keep me going :)


End file.
